if we were 16, this would be EARTH-SHATTERING from, like, an emotional standpoint. Continue reading
Category Archives: celebrity
MARIAH CAREY. american idol. discuss.
the epic throwdown: jackie o vs. jackie k
at present, my jackie as fictional character studies come down to this: the january 1971 issue of MOTION PICTURE.
you guys, it is SO RICH, i can’t even.
stream of conscious reflections re: this picture of NKOTB
i’ma take a step back
because, while i think the media- both mainstream and tabloid- are very very important, i also think it’s very very important to remember that images like this:
come from situations like this: Continue reading
the celebrity’s relationship to the celebrity’s celebrity in the celebrity relationship of celebrities: the case of pete campbell and rory gilmore
so, our girl rory gilmore is dating pete campbell (real world trans: alexis bledel is dating vincent kartheiser). well, maybe not DATING him but, at the very least, making out with him on cross-country flights.
which is… interesting? weird? hella creepy?
dude is on the record as living in a home that has no toilet.
no judgement. just saying. Continue reading
an open letter to lindsay lohan re: the unstoppable trainwreck that is “liz and dick” (and the [inevitable] EPIC fur hat)
dear lindsay lohan,
i mean, we knew this day would come.
not to sound smug but it was quite obvious from that get-go that somewhere in the never-ending saga of you filming the unstoppable trainwreck that is the lifetime movie “liz and dick”, you would be called upon to attempt to approximate one of the most glorious moments in fashion history. namely, this:
to be all joey russo for a moment: WHOA. Continue reading
biography has sex problems. true story. (+ assorted ramblings re: the awesomeness of 1960s celebrity 2nd wedding dresses)
i started writing about jackie because i deplored the way she was written about. shoddy writing, shoddy scholarship, shoddy story-telling.
when you read 97 books about someone, certain trends begin to emerge. Continue reading
an open letter to lindsay lohan on the 2nd day of principle shooting for the unstoppable trainwreck that is the lifetime movie “liz and dick”
dear lindsay lohan,
so i was just sitting here thinking: hmmm… li.lo’s been awful quiet lately. what the eff is up?
and then i google and god giveth.
turns out today you started principle photography on your forthcoming historical masterpiece, LIZ & DICK. Continue reading
BREAKING NEWS: emergency thoughts re: tom cruise, celebristar (ie. ouch, mine eyes/heart; the men you love in your youth will always let you down)
there was a time when i loved tom cruise. (confession: just looking into his velvety eyes right there, i’m more than a little in love with him now.)
mind you, i like my men a little wrecked and my celebrity crushes have always, accordingly, been suspect. odds are i was the only 14-year-old with a scrapbook dedicated to matthew modine, isaac mizrahi and michael hutchence. not that i ever told anyone. that crushing was top secret.
tom cruise was legit, mainstream. a celebrity i could share with all my friends because he was safe, sturdy, and conventionally good-looking. he seemed like a beautiful man with whom my younger self could’ve had a very happy, totally fictitious, very public life (while i secretly bitched to isaac mizrahi and romanced matthew modine and michael hutchence on the side).
this was way back. like, in the before times.
before the internet. before rosie o’donnell was a lesbian. before katie holmes and oprah’s couch.
these were the good old days. remember those? Continue reading
an alarming life 
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