macaulay culkin: “healthier and happier”

mac 2

as you may or may not know, i am OBSESSED with the way the daily mail reports about macaulay culkin. well, actually, i’m obsessed with the way the daily mail writes about anyone but i am particularly OBSESSED with the way they have written about mac, beginning with what i’mma call “The Sad, Solitary, Alone Taco Bell Incident” and onward.

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why harry has to marry RIGHT NOW (cressida = fergie + prince = 1980/81 redux)

is this a new cultural (ie. daily mail) trend? this recent glut of Guys Who’ve Got To Get Married RIGHTNOW

last week it was Guys Who’ve Got To Get Married RIGHTNOW… macaulay culkin edition. this week it’s Guys Who’ve Got To Get Married RIGHTNOW… prince harry. and yes, yes, i realize we probably need more than a pair to constitute a glut, but still. it’s weird. in the tabloid press, men aren’t usually portrayed this way and now we’ve two in quick succession.

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now that mila kunis is engaged, macaulay’s abandoned the burritos to race to the altar

and where were we, before zac efron interrupted… oh yeah. mac.
New York Comic Con 2013 - Day 2 if you’ve been around here with any regularity in the last year, you know i’m rather taken with the daily mail‘s accounts of macaulay culkin’s love life. rightfully so, because they are amaze. predictably, given mila kunis’s recent engagement to that man who dumped demi moore, the DM decided to check in and see how mac’s doing. he was not, as it turns out, drowning his sorrows in ‘sad’ ‘by himself’ ‘on his own’ ‘lunch for one’ burritos from taco bell. Continue reading

a quick analysis of macaulay culkin’s emotional well-being based solely on looking at photographs

hey, remember that one time that we were all worried about macaulay culkin because he was eating alone at taco bell?

(and yes, we’ll be returning to j.tim eventually…)


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now that macaulay culkin is “happy and healthy” because he was seen carrying a hudson news bag at laguardia, let’s talk about that one time he was “solitary” and “alone” because he ate lunch at taco bell

maci heart macaulay culkin. not out of any great love of home alone. more just because we’re near exact contemporaries and i root for him. and not in the overwrought way that i root for tommy cruise. my hopes for mac are pure, simple. i want him to do well.

plus, he’s an easy person to root for. he throws ipod parties.  he’s committed to his critically-panned outsiderish art. and he usually stays under the radar. RESPECT.

so in honor of what i’ve just arbitrarily deemed Macaulay Culkin Gossip Appreciation Day, i would like to do a deep reading of two mac-related articles in my beloved daily mail. Continue reading