(22 february 2011)

at the suggestion of my father, i have enrolled in a speech class. because things are happening and the sex toboggans are rolling into various towns around the world and it would be useful, as i roll into various towns around the world with them, to be able to discuss the sex toboggans in a somewhat captivating way.

as most always happens, i set out to do things- big things! adventures!- and there is this vision in my head of how they will happen- flawlessly! gloriously! with much applause!- and then… everything is absurd.

i went to speech class. actually, first, i took a scenic tour of the emergency room of the masonic medical center looking for a 7th floor auditorium that did not exist. then i went to a speech class.

and after my encounter with a one-legged man lying near death on a stretcher, speech class didn’t seem so scary.

people always suggest that you imagine your audience in their underwear. i’ve never found that helpful.

it is somehow much more helpful to operate under threat. to think that if i do not get up there, if i do not push myself and speak, then i’ll be forced to take another tour of the masonic medical center emergency room. and made to look the one-legged man in the eye.

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