Author Archives: oline
a quick analysis of macaulay culkin’s emotional well-being based solely on looking at photographs
hey, remember that one time that we were all worried about macaulay culkin because he was eating alone at taco bell?
(and yes, we’ll be returning to j.tim eventually…)
some thoughts on jackie upon the occasion of the 50th anniversary of her 1st husband’s death
she hated the 22nd, jackie did. hated that people chose to remember the day JFK died rather than the day of his birth or the inauguration or anything else. hated that they chose to remember the killing and not the life. she’d cancel the papers, but it didn’t matter because there’d be displays in store windows, people on the street, etc. one particularly bad year, on the anniversary, children from her son’s school followed the pair of them home shouting at the little boy ‘your father’s dead! your father’s dead!’ as he held his mother’s hand.
so i’ve mixed feelings re: writing now. re: posting tomorrow, which is why i’m posting today. because my loyalty is, as always, with her. Continue reading
there are celebrities i cannot stand and justin timberlake is #1 (a personal meditation [part 4])
so hey, guess who we’re talking about! yup. STILL. i know, i know. you’re wondering how there could possibly more words to spill on this man. how has my admittedly shallow well of thoughts and analysis not run completely dry. fear not! we’re nearly done. (except… ARE WE?! because now j.tim’s chimed up about how he’s so memphis because his primary impulse is to kill people rather than dialogue, which is a maddeningly reductive thing to have said about a city known for the killing of martin luther king, jr.) as i mentioned initially, my dislike of j.tim can be distilled into three episodes: the wedding, the shriners, and take back the night.
(sidenote: doesn’t he totally look like chuck bass in the photo above??)
which brings us to TAKE BACK THE NIGHT… Continue reading
there are celebrities i cannot stand and justin timberlake is #1 (a personal meditation [part 3])
i knew this was going to happen. i knew that in doing this i was going to run slipshod over really really important things, which is precisely what i did last week.
hey, remember how we were talking about j.tim’s wedding???
things i totally forgot to talk about: white privilege. Continue reading
there are celebrities i cannot stand and justin timberlake is #1 (a personal meditation [part 2])
so, hey we’re back, with my multi-part series devoted to parsing the meanings behind my dislike of this man:
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. whom i cannot stand. Continue reading
there are celebrities i cannot stand and justin timberlake is #1 (a personal meditation [part 1])
FINALLY someone has put a finger on why caroline kennedy’s authorial career has seemed so irksome (unfortunately, it is the NY post)
‘Caroline is like the Gwyneth Paltrow of legacy politics, selling off curated pieces of her image and life, crying foul whenever she can’t control the narrative or turn a profit herself.’
the problem with wanting to write about the national nightmare that is DIANA is that i would have to go see the national nightmare that is DIANA
which i really just cannot summon the nerve to do.
additional thoughts on naomi campbell as relates to my 90s boyfriend adam clayton and my current boyfriend adrien brody (whose holiday clothes are THE WORST)
in things i completely forgot about until a random listen of zooropa today, naomi campbell totally used to go out with my 90s boyfriend adam clayton. remember that?
an alarming life 
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