because, first, there was prince harry’s photobomb…

which was a sweet one-up on his gran’s photobomb of a few days before…

well played.

AND THEN, and then there was j.lo’s birthday cake…

which, well… LOOK AT THAT THING OMG RIGHT?! would that all of my Future Life Events were commemorated with such an ambitious baked good. for reals. it is uh-mazing.

the fact that her birthday appears to have been held in a small liquor store.

the fact that her cake features freaking aslan and would totally be this:

were it not for whatever is going on below her waist and the fact that she appears to be wearing a sleeveless version of this:

which is, of course, a reference to this…

which is OF COURSE nothing like what they wear in narnia:

so that happened.

(riddle me this: are these figures icing?!?! i mean, that lion is mighty banged up, so either this is aslan after he rose from the dead or this is some sort of edible thing that has seen better days…

[omg, IS IT MARZIPAN??!?! how dreadful to go to j.lo’s birthday party expecting proper cake and get nothing but marzipan figurines. blech! the only way it could be worse would be if they were secretly, insidiously filled with shredded coconut!!!

{fyi, what i have just described– a birthday party with no cake excepting shredded coconut filled marzipan figures of the birthday girl in a jumpsuit and the christ-lion on which she reclines– is officially my new nightmare}]

OR one of j.lo’s friends appropriated a keira knightley king arthur action figure, papier-mâchéd some butt on, painted the jump suit, stuck the j.lo-ified keira astride a plastic lion and plopped it all atop a cake…

oh, except they MUST be icing, right? because the layer of snow and dirt upon which they’re reclining would be the thinnest, most unsatisfying cake ever. so they must be the cake themselves. which is… weirder?

srsly, i feel like- whatever is actually happening here- this has to be the cake equivalent of going to plaid.)

one more time, ya’ll. for the road…

lastly, props to that filter because it is working HARD.

so i honestly did think that would be the most ludicrous thing i would see today, because, WHY NOT? that seems a reasonable assumption.

except, no. and while i’m not sure it surpasses j.lo’s birthday cake in ludicrousness, it certainly does round out the day…

because OBVIOUSLY. when you get tired of doing karate on a yacht, you go to italy, doff your shirt and run jubilantly through the grass brandishing your super soaker.

YOU GUYS, what will happen next??