for the record, i do a lot of yoga and i love yoga. i also love my boyfriend adrien brody.

yes, i’m aware there are some hair issues…

and some styling issues…

and some squandering of talent and selection of horrible, racist movies issues.

i’m aware of the issues.

but there’s also this:

and, also, i admire the thoroughness of his commitment to being eurotrash even though he’s from new york.

so my love it is what it is.

my love for my boyfriend adrien brody is matched only by my very deep fear of naomi campbell.

RIGHT?! girl is FIERCE. and GORG. and FEARSOME. she could cut you.

and i’m not just saying that. she has, in fact, cut people. there have been claws.

most recently she put out a fatwa against her ex-bf’s new girl. there are legitimate things to fear here. particularly now that she’s on roberto cavalli’s yacht with my boyfriend adrien brody.

and, no, this isn’t the yacht. it’s whatever you take ashore from the yacht… a schooner? a skiffy? a dinghy? idk. what i do know is that i cannot compete with this.

i cannot compete with (1) a yacht (all i have is a bus pass!) and/or (2) naomi campbell- ie. a beautiful woman capable of clawing my eyes out.

i cannot compete and so, no matter how much i love my boyfriend adrien brody and no matter how much i love yoga (and i really, really do love yoga), all i can do is take small solace in the fact that even the most beautiful people kinda look like pretentious fools when practicing.