NYT obituary smack-down: joan fontaine v. peter o’toole edition

Olivia de Havilland & Joan Fontaine

the thing about sexism is that it’s so often subversive, so woven into the culture that you can just be all like ‘oh no, that’s not sexism, it’s just a difference in talents/skills/blahblahblah/whatev, and that’s why that person is written about that way.’ 

so one way of looking at the vast difference between the obituaries of joan fontaine and peter o’toole, both of whom died this weekend, is to say that peter o’toole’s was the more important career. which, were i more familiar with the films of either, i would try to make a convincing case for at this point, because i’d prefer not to have to confront how deeply messed up are the ways that we write about women’s lives within american culture, but alas… NAW. so let’s take a look. Continue reading

a deep reading of the daily mail’s article on the love life and engagement of sabrina guinness (emotions via britney spears)

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so sabrina guinness is largely famous in my world for being one of the inappropriate girlfriends of prince charles in the immortal amazing made-for-television classic CHARLES & CAMILLA: WHATEVER LOVE MEANS, which you all should’ve watched because, omg, it is totally the greatest movie our time. (for reals. do not be deterred by the brevity of its wikipedia page.)

she’s also famous outside of this movie for having been one of the inappropriate girlfriends of prince charles, having tried to sit in a chair at balmoral only reserved for the ass of the ghost of victoria, and having dated a rolling stone.  Continue reading

a quick analysis of macaulay culkin’s emotional well-being based solely on looking at photographs

hey, remember that one time that we were all worried about macaulay culkin because he was eating alone at taco bell?

(and yes, we’ll be returning to j.tim eventually…)

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Continue reading

some thoughts on jackie upon the occasion of the 50th anniversary of her 1st husband’s death

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she hated the 22nd, jackie did. hated that people chose to remember the day JFK died rather than the day of his birth or the inauguration or anything else. hated that they chose to remember the killing and not the life. she’d cancel the papers, but it didn’t matter because there’d be displays in store windows, people on the street, etc. one particularly bad year, on the anniversary, children from her son’s school followed the pair of them home shouting at the little boy ‘your father’s dead! your father’s dead!’ as he held his mother’s hand.

so i’ve mixed feelings re: writing now. re: posting tomorrow, which is why i’m posting today. because my loyalty is, as always, with her.  Continue reading

there are celebrities i cannot stand and justin timberlake is #1 (a personal meditation [part 4])

so hey, guess who we’re talking about! yup. STILL. i know, i know. you’re wondering how there could possibly more words to spill on this man. how has my admittedly shallow well of thoughts and analysis not run completely dry. fear not! we’re nearly done. (except… ARE WE?! because now j.tim’s chimed up about how he’s so memphis because his primary impulse is to kill people rather than dialogue, which is a maddeningly reductive thing to have said about a city known for the killing of martin luther king, jr.)  as i mentioned initially, my dislike of j.tim can be distilled into three episodes: the wedding, the shriners, and take back the night.
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(sidenote: doesn’t he totally look like chuck bass in the photo above??)

which brings us to TAKE BACK THE NIGHT… Continue reading

very brief thoughts on the wimbledon ‘bromance’ of bradley cooper and gerard butler in relation to the concept of ‘britney resting face’

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so the coop and g.but were at the wimbledon men’s final and apparently the television presenters milked this for all it was worth with loads of cutaways.

they’re calling BROMANCE, largely because these two men appeared to be having a good time and they took a photograph of themselves together: Continue reading

EMERGENCY THOUGHTS re: kate middleton, celeb pregnancy, and truly, epically, incredibly awful art (emotions via britney spears)

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firstly, britbrit and i share the whatever you wanna call the opposite of ‘bitchy resting face‘. EMOTIONS ALL OVER THE FACE face, i guess. so i’mma rely on her as an emoticon of sorts to guide us through the horror we are about to endure.

secondly, do you remember when that sick dude made a grotesque piece of statuary devoted to the re-imagining of britney’s first kid’s birth? well, (1) he’s back. except no one really cares this time because it’s KK. know who they do care about? DOC. which brings us to… Continue reading