true story: this is all my fault.
i proposed a series of conference papers on melania’s jacket and so OF COURSE now there is story on melania’s jacket every single effing day. Continue reading
Author Archives: oline
a brief analysis of the daily mail’s meghan markle “REVELATIONS”
surely, SURELY we are deep enough in our daily mail master class to recognize that the man behind the curtain has no clothes, right?
but yeah, anyhoo, here we are at exhibit ZZZ…
given that the daily mail almost EXCLUSIVELY pedals in a genre perhaps best described as News From Elsewhere (with the exception of their EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVES which always have EXCLUSIVE plastered all over them so they are adequately distinguished from the pack of unoriginal content), i don’t know why i always give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that their articles are doing something other than killing time.
this article, my friends? this thing is seriously killing time. Continue reading
there was that one time
***Update 6/21: THIS IS A POST ABOUT THE BIOGRAPHER CHARLES J. SHIELDS***
on the occasion of my 33rd birthday, an older man i considered a professional mentor sent me a facebook message asking if i wanted children and whether i might help him continue his line.
the pathos of elvis rings (emotions via britney)
oh hello.
i know, i know. long time no words. forgive me. in a life of approximately 9,000,000,000 projects (give or take a few), it is sometimes hard to remain a word factory in all available venues.
but yo, i’m back!
the world is a pit of drear and suck. let’s talk about totally superficially meaningful things.
ELVIS JEWLERY. Continue reading
the 90s
and lo! the daily mail has discovered gaslighting
jackie, janet and lee: “women who existed only to captivate the world’s richest and most powerful men” (emotions via britney)
today, class, a close reading of the DM’s article of 16 february 2018, entitled: “Sisters who competed to snare the world’s richest men: Schooled by their mother to seek out power, a new book reveals the jealousy between Jackie O and sister Lee and how they both bedded JFK.”
i mean, just right there, yeah?
on presidential portraits
the thing about presidential portraits is that they usually aren’t all that exciting. partly [SWEEPING GENERALIZATION] possibly perhaps because there haven’t really been presidents who were particularly interested in art or in portraiture as an art form.
be real: do you remember bill clinton’s presidential portrait? Continue reading
FACT TIME WITH OLINE: that jackie episode of “the crown”
fine. we will do this.
(Jacqueline Kennedy on her way to the State Dinner with Her Majesty the Queen Elizabeth II)
FACT TIME WITH OLINE!!!
beware: SPOILERS ABOUND.
an alarming life 
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