an open letter to lindsay lohan on the occasion of the last three weeks having been a total trainwreck of stupid

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lilo ridic fur

dear lindsay lohan,

i’ve taken an accidental month-long blogging break in large part because there is just too much to take in. what with beiber’s meltdown in london, the DOC/mantel plastic bride/royal bodies smackdown, a piece i’ve been trying to write for months on celeb surgery, and then… THEN… [ominous drums] there is you. there is always you.

personally, i didn’t want to write about you, but then a friend’s mother told me i really needed to engage, so here goes.

li.lo, i can’t even look at you right now. Continue reading →

i’m not a big beyoncé fan but i’ll give her mad props for this

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hitportal-beyonce2

‘It’s difficult being a woman. It’s so much pressure, and we need that support sometimes,’ Beyonce says. ‘We’re all going through our problems, but we all have the same insecurities and we all have the same abilities and we all need each other. Continue reading →

now that macaulay culkin is “happy and healthy” because he was seen carrying a hudson news bag at laguardia, let’s talk about that one time he was “solitary” and “alone” because he ate lunch at taco bell

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maci heart macaulay culkin. not out of any great love of home alone. more just because we’re near exact contemporaries and i root for him. and not in the overwrought way that i root for tommy cruise. my hopes for mac are pure, simple. i want him to do well.

plus, he’s an easy person to root for. he throws ipod parties.  he’s committed to his critically-panned outsiderish art. and he usually stays under the radar. RESPECT.

so in honor of what i’ve just arbitrarily deemed Macaulay Culkin Gossip Appreciation Day, i would like to do a deep reading of two mac-related articles in my beloved daily mail. Continue reading →