firstly, britbrit and i share the whatever you wanna call the opposite of ‘bitchy resting face‘. EMOTIONS ALL OVER THE FACE face, i guess. so i’mma rely on her as an emoticon of sorts to guide us through the horror we are about to endure.

secondly, do you remember when that sick dude made a grotesque piece of statuary devoted to the re-imagining of britney’s first kid’s birth? well, (1) he’s back. except no one really cares this time because it’s KK. know who they do care about? DOC. which brings us to…

(2) THIS:

[via]

SWEET MOTHER OF GOD.

can we even begin to unpack this? dare we?!

obviously, it’s a bit small, so it’s hard to make out the detailing. perhaps, at a closer range, it would really come together, but from such a great distance- ie. 5 feet- it’s beauties cannot be appreciated.

there’s the halo and the corgi and the nursing crown-wearing infant (which, at first glimpse, i mistook for a second dog). to say nothing of WHAT ON EARTH IS HAPPENING TO HER LEG?! is she wearing a red sock? has she been wounded? what is that?! why is she sitting on a front door welcome mat?

perhaps most importantly, why is this incredibly appearance conscious woman dressed like friar tuck?

ALSO… who does she look like? obvi, it’s not duchess kate, so who is it? my vote is julianna margulies.

i will say this though… i realized The Heir was coming, but- now that there’s awful art- it feels like A Real Historical Moment.

still…