balls up

i am a biographer.

i’d been working up the nerve to say that for months. before, “becoming” always crept  into that statement. because it seemed too ballsy to state that i was, in fact, what i already am.

but a biographer is not a butterfly. it is something you are, not something you become.

every biographer i’ve met takes a different view of what it means to be a biographer and of how to best go about that. but, as is the case with most things in life, there are a million and one ways and you can have your pick.

i have chosen, obviously, a way that looks like utter insanity and seems to make very little sense.

in that, i keep coming back to these two things:

the sacrifice of expectations and the suspension of disbelief.

not to go all oprah here, but i think these are key if you’re going to actually be what, deep down, you already are. because you can’t create something new unless you give up your plans for how it’s going to look and you can’t dream big unless you accept that anything can be.

that’s the extent of my wisdom. that and buy the most beautiful business cards in all the world. because even if they’re an outrageous extravagance and you have to eat leaves and grass for the whole week after to pay them off, the look of amazement and the exclamation of THAT is a NICE card that comes out of the mouth of each person to whom you give one will make it well worth the expense.

One thought on “balls up

  1. Good point about the business cards. Tip: I order business cards from It’s a DIY site and you need to invest some time learning how to use their design software so you don’t make a mistake. But as of about two years ago, for around $20, you got 250 business cards laminated on one side (if you leave the verso unlaminated you can write on it) and there’s a good selection of designs and colors. I have a box of colored pencils on a light green background, and people often comment on how striking it looks.

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