the pathos of elvis rings (emotions via britney)

oh hello.

i know, i know. long time no words. forgive me. in a life of approximately 9,000,000,000 projects (give or take a few), it is sometimes hard to remain a word factory in all available venues.

but yo, i’m back!

the world is a pit of drear and suck. let’s talk about totally superficially meaningful things.

ELVIS JEWLERY. Continue reading

jackie, janet and lee: “women who existed only to captivate the world’s richest and most powerful men” (emotions via britney)

today, class, a close reading of the DM’s article of 16 february 2018, entitled: “Sisters who competed to snare the world’s richest men: Schooled by their mother to seek out power, a new book reveals the jealousy between Jackie O and sister Lee and how they both bedded JFK.”

i mean, just right there, yeah?

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a change is gonna come… we hope… maybe? (emotions via britney)

ok, ya’ll, let’s do this. and to do this we (obviously) need my emotionally incontinent face twin, ms britney.

a lot has happened since we last spoke.

for example, the new york times published this piece on harvey weinstein.

the new yorker published this substantially less well written piece on harvey weinstein.

the new yorker published a follow-up story on harvey weinstein.

the new york times published a follow-up story on harvey weinstein.

many, many women posted on social media about their own experiences of sexual assault and sexual harassment.

there was some exceedingly valuable writing on the matter from all over the internet which i will not even attempt to condense here.

buzzfeed published this piece on kevin spacey.

assorted other venues posted articles on kevin spacey.

to say nothing of brett ratner, mark halperin, leon weiseltiergeorge hw bush, ben affleck, dustin hoffman, etc.

or russia.

so, like an amazingly enormous amount of stuff happened. but we’re not here to talk about that. Continue reading

the sex lives of dead people: JFK edition (emotions via britney)

i mean, i had you at hello, right? you are like, holy moses, this woman is ambitious. for seriously, is there a more prodigious sex life of a dead person than that of JFK? haven’t we all of us, by this point, slept with JFK?

ok. so that’s taking it a step too far. but seriously. and i say this as a biographer. it is likely that JFK slept with a whole load of people. i’m not contesting that.

there seems to be a lot of compelling evidence that his sex life was extensive.

having written extensively about his wife, there seems to be compelling evidence that she knew his sex life was extensive.

what i would do is suggest that we not take every single claim about his extensive sex life as absolute truth.

given what we know about how the sex lives of dead people work.

(new life goal: to some day teach a master class on the sex lives of dead people. just fyi.)

so here we are with the man of the hour:

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the sex lives of dead people: jackie onassis and everyone, movie tie-in edition (emotions via britney)

so i have been putting this off for daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays because, HOLY MOSES… i don’t even know.

i mean, that has captured your attention, non? you are RIVETED, right?

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let’s dive in.

(via the daily mail)

(via the daily mail)

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some thoughts on kim kardashian’s selfish (emotions via britney)

please know: in my efforts to find photos from the launch of selfish to illustrate what i’m about to write about selfish, i just saw SO.MUCH.KIM.KARDASHIAN. her instagram is A LOT, yo. so i’mma call on my emotionally incontinent face celebrity double britney to ease us all in.

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saint west, saint wentz and “the ultimate celebrity disaster”

have you ever wondered, what is the ultimate celebrity disaster? 

well, lo, THE DAILY MAIL PROVIDES.

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kanye and KK had their kid. they named it saint. pete wentz also has a kid and it is also named saint. et voilà.

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